What happens when you’re friends with a nice guy and learn from the woman he’s been toying with that he isn’t so nice after all? Surprise and disappointment ensue.
That happened to me recently, and I share this story in this podcast episode of There Are No Nice Guys. The story involves Alex, Amanda, and me. (Those aren’t their real names.)
Alex the Nice Guy
Alex and I met years and years ago, and we actually had a date. He was respectful and, well, nice.
However, I just wasn’t attracted to him and didn’t want to continue to date him. We had a brief makeout session on our one date, but that’s it. When Alex asked about a second date, I gently let him know I wasn’t feeling any chemistry.
He handled my rejection well, and we remained friendly Facebook friends. That was the depth of our connection until I recently decided to spend time with nice guys on a platonic level—to counteract the bad attitude I had about men.
So, I asked Alex to meet for brunch. We did, and just like before on our date, he behaved like a nice guy.
I was excited to start a long-term platonic friendship with Alex. That is until I met Amanda.
Amanda, the Woman Alex Was Using
I attended one of Alex’s band’s shows and met Amanda, not knowing who she was or that our paths would cross. At first, Amanda was wary of me. Once she realized I was no threat to her situation-ship with Alex, she spilled the beans.
She never once said Alex was just using her for sex. That is my conclusion based on her tale:
- They were having sex but not in a committed relationship.
- This had been going on for two years.
- She called it an on-and-off thing because sometimes Alex would ghost her out of the blue, then hit her up later. Other times, he’d pick a needless fight so he’d have a reason to push her away. Of course, he’d hit her up again later.
Look, I’m a pro at dating and being single. I know the behaviors and patterns. Based on this recount of experiences, Amanda was being used. I was floored. How could my friend, a nice guy, be such a douchebag user?
What Happened Next Shocked Me
It gets worse. You have to listen to Episode 37 of There Are No Nice Guys to find out how. Let’s just say that Alex revealed his true colors to me. We’re no longer friends.
Listen to this episode here on this website or wherever you stream podcasts.